When my firstborn came into the world, and everything was new and strange and scary for me about being a parent, I asked a friend for advice. This lady had a couple of kids a few years older than mine, and she'd been a fantastic mentor through my pregnancy, so it was natural that I ask her what I needed to know, what I needed to do, in order to be a good mother to this little one I already loved more than I had ever loved anything.
She came through for me with a single sentence. To this day, with children who are twenty, seventeen and fifteen, it's the only parenting advice I give out myself to less experienced parents.
"Raise the child you have," she told me, "not the child you thought you were going to have."
Over the years, I've learned more than I ever hoped to learn about exactly what that means. It means that you raise your kid with whatever they need from you… not with what you thought they would need or hoped they would need or want to give them. It means you rejoice as they grow and show you new sides of themselves, and you love the kid they are now, without grieving for the one they were when they were younger and it was simpler to know how to take care of them. It means, always, that you love them for who they really are, rather than trying to force them into a mold that you make for them. Because you can't raise a child well without loving them, and so you can't raise the child you really have without loving the child you really have… not the one you thought or hoped or expected that you would have.
Kim Stanford, there's a reason this video went viral. You learned — even if you were temporarily blinded to it at first! — what my friend taught me when my oldest was still a newborn, and you were able to love the child you have instead of the one you had originally thought and hoped and expected to have. You learned to let go of the hopes and expectations you began with… because your real daughter was standing in front of you to tell you that she had found the love of her life and that love was a woman, and the actual kid you had was more important to you than any expectations you might have had before.
That's the way to do it. That's the most important part of being a parent I've ever known.
Congratulations a couple of years late on a wonderful daughter and daughter-in-law. And on being the mom they deserve. ❤️
OMG this brought tears to my eyes!! Her own mother didnt accept that she was Gay but her other family accepted her and supported her and then her own mother eventually did.
I am watching this years after its been posted, but the emotions it has given me are the same as if ive watched it when it was posted… i have been struggling with coming out to my parents for a long time, and after watching this video ive written my coming out letter to my parents… thank you for posting it, and for the amazing mum for the most beautiful words towards her daughter ❤
I broke up with my girlfriend a few years back after my coming out didn't go so great. She and my family had a falling out, and it caused me to end things. I hated myself, I hated that I could possibly never have the relationship I wanted with the woman of my dreams because it wasn't "normal". Instead of taking the mud off that was thrown on me, I just decided to wear it and live in what I felt to be the right life. Well, that didn't last long, and was causing me to feel so much resentment. I finally had enough near the end of last year, got real with myself, came out to myself, and I'm never going back. I also reconnected with the woman that I could never stop loving, and hopefully one day, my family can come to see the gold that's beginning to show….
I love this because everyone is so busy canceling people that they don’t realize people can change and do better! This mom turned it around and realized her daughter is more important than anything and that’s so beautiful ❤️💕🌈
Épico, de lo más hermoso, que se puede escuchar de una amorosa madre. Si lo pueden doblar al español y/o subtitular, llegaría a muchas más personas. Please girls subs to this beatiful words.
3:41 4:20 6:15 7:23 7:49 8:10 8:32 9:16
Congratulations 👏🌟❤️❤️✈️Florida
I’m crying
No one cares about them gays
When my firstborn came into the world, and everything was new and strange and scary for me about being a parent, I asked a friend for advice. This lady had a couple of kids a few years older than mine, and she'd been a fantastic mentor through my pregnancy, so it was natural that I ask her what I needed to know, what I needed to do, in order to be a good mother to this little one I already loved more than I had ever loved anything.
She came through for me with a single sentence. To this day, with children who are twenty, seventeen and fifteen, it's the only parenting advice I give out myself to less experienced parents.
"Raise the child you have," she told me, "not the child you thought you were going to have."
Over the years, I've learned more than I ever hoped to learn about exactly what that means. It means that you raise your kid with whatever they need from you… not with what you thought they would need or hoped they would need or want to give them. It means you rejoice as they grow and show you new sides of themselves, and you love the kid they are now, without grieving for the one they were when they were younger and it was simpler to know how to take care of them. It means, always, that you love them for who they really are, rather than trying to force them into a mold that you make for them. Because you can't raise a child well without loving them, and so you can't raise the child you really have without loving the child you really have… not the one you thought or hoped or expected that you would have.
Kim Stanford, there's a reason this video went viral. You learned — even if you were temporarily blinded to it at first! — what my friend taught me when my oldest was still a newborn, and you were able to love the child you have instead of the one you had originally thought and hoped and expected to have. You learned to let go of the hopes and expectations you began with… because your real daughter was standing in front of you to tell you that she had found the love of her life and that love was a woman, and the actual kid you had was more important to you than any expectations you might have had before.
That's the way to do it. That's the most important part of being a parent I've ever known.
Congratulations a couple of years late on a wonderful daughter and daughter-in-law. And on being the mom they deserve. ❤️
HOLLY FUCK 🔥 I JUST WATCHED THIS VIDEO AND I AM IN TEARS 💛 thank you for sharing this video.
THE CASUAL GIRLS ARE PORNGIRL.UNO
Youtube: This is fine
Someone: Says ''heck''
youtube: be gone
#однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃
😭😭😭😭 OMG I'M UGLY CRYING!
sana all guys love wins 4ever
OMG this brought tears to my eyes!! Her own mother didnt accept that she was Gay but her other family accepted her and supported her and then her own mother eventually did.
Name of book ? 🙏🏾
Un spanish 🙏🏾😔
WOW!! 🏳️🌈❤️
Congratulations to wedding
TBWYB
I am watching this years after its been posted, but the emotions it has given me are the same as if ive watched it when it was posted… i have been struggling with coming out to my parents for a long time, and after watching this video ive written my coming out letter to my parents… thank you for posting it, and for the amazing mum for the most beautiful words towards her daughter ❤
Great story and heartwarming talk, but the music was really, really annoying. It made listening to the talk very difficult.
See? People can change! This is so beautiful!
I love ❤️ the speech. 🏳️🌈 Priceless!
I broke up with my girlfriend a few years back after my coming out didn't go so great. She and my family had a falling out, and it caused me to end things. I hated myself, I hated that I could possibly never have the relationship I wanted with the woman of my dreams because it wasn't "normal". Instead of taking the mud off that was thrown on me, I just decided to wear it and live in what I felt to be the right life. Well, that didn't last long, and was causing me to feel so much resentment. I finally had enough near the end of last year, got real with myself, came out to myself, and I'm never going back. I also reconnected with the woman that I could never stop loving, and hopefully one day, my family can come to see the gold that's beginning to show….
This is so on point this mother is my hero and im gay and proud
I love this because everyone is so busy canceling people that they don’t realize people can change and do better! This mom turned it around and realized her daughter is more important than anything and that’s so beautiful ❤️💕🌈
Mom speech is powerful and I'm overwhelmed
Today I say congratulations to them not judge for I am not God.
simply beautiful.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!
Épico, de lo más hermoso, que se puede escuchar de una amorosa madre. Si lo pueden doblar al español y/o subtitular, llegaría a muchas más personas. Please girls subs to this beatiful words.
❤️💙💜🧡💛💚